apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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