Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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