Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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