now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
