so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
