We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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