Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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