is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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