You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
