I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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