if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
