My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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