it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize