honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
