i need an iv and a liver transplant
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Randomize
