Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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