i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
