I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
