we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
