new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
