Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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