what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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