Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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