he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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