why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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