College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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