In America we eat man semen.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
