My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
