found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
