Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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