Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize