yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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