I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
