Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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