Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
