What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
