Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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