like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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