At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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