i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
