So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
