Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
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When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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