Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
we made out on top of his cat.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
