Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
