Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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