nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
