In the future we'll all be gay
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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