You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
