We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
