He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
