The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
