Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize