"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
not ubering you a puppy
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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