I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
