your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
