That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
