This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
