Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you traded sex for a burrito?
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i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
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I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize