I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
