spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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