ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
